Facebook is Weird

Facebook has some pretty weird things....




1. Poking

I have no idea what the point is of this. What the heck am I telling someone by poking them? Maybe it has some deep meaning. I find it interesting how people I poke on Facebook poke right back, and yet I tried it in real life and all I got was a dirty look. It's true. I was devastated. And then there's Super Poke. That has to be one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Why in the world would I want to throw a dead cow covered in ketchup at someone? The concept of poking has never ceased to baffle me.

2. Chat

I'll hand it to Facebook. Chat was a great idea. People instant message all the time, and making it so people could do that while stalking their friends was genius. The reason this is on my hate list has to do with the people who use it. The following is an example of the average Facebook conversation.

(Bobby is typing)

- Hey

(Craig is typing)

- Hey

(Bobby is typing)

- How u doin?

(Craig is typing)

- Good u?

(Bobby is typing)

- Good

(Craig is typing)

- Cool

(Bobby is typing)

- Hey I g2g

(Craig is typing)

- Cya

And of course, let's not forget...

(Bobby is typing)

- Hey

(Emily has logged off)

(Bobby is typing)

- Hello?

YOUR MESSAGE TO EMILY WAS NOT RECEIVED BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ANNOYING AND SEND HER A MESSAGE, CLICK (HERE).

Oh, the joys of Facebook chat!

3. Events

This isn't all bad. I've sent plenty of event requests myself on Facebook. The thing that annoys me is the stupid event requests. Not even kidding you, but one time a couple years ago I got invited to Christmas. I came very close to selecting "not attending" just to be cute. Then there was the time I got invited to 2013. And then there's those people I don't even know inviting me to their birthday parties. Facebook events and I have had a steady love/hate relationship for quite some time.

4. Farmville

Oh my gosh! I love planting corn! Ugh. I fail to see what's so special about this game. Scratch that. It's not a game. It's torture. If the U.S. wanted to torture terrorists for information, they could just sit them down and force them to play Farmville. They can sit there and watch their character move slowly across the screen and create his beautifully pixelated farm. Give them a few minutes and they're sure to scream in pain and agony.

5. Ads

These can go from annoying to downright creepy. No matter what you make public on your profile, Facebook finds some way to make ads match you. The most hilarious ones would probably be the ones telling me to meet Christian singles. The concept is fine, but the photos they pick are hilarious. I have a hard time believing that Christian singles wear mid drifts and show skin that would make Christine Aguilera blush. That's not even the worst. The absolute worst ads are the ones not even related to my Facebook stuff, but rather my internet and iTunes history. If I visit a site, I get an ad asking me to fan it. If I preview a band on iTunes, Facebook asks me to fan them and also lets me know when concerts are coming up. No! I won't go a Rebecca Black concert!

6. Photos

Everyone has that one friend who is always photographing themselves striking weird poses and plaguing your News Feed with them. The funniest ones are the ones taken in front of a bathroom mirror. I never quite understood these. Is the toilet in the background a nice touch? Then there's the artsy fartsy one who is always putting up everything from pictures of the sky to closeups of tree bark. Then there's the one who only has animal photos. My personal favorite is the one who always puts up photos of them making out with their significant other. Everyone loves seeing that.

7. Profile Pics

"Hey, friend me on Facebook!" That's kind of a common line these days. Should be a pretty simple process. Facebook has this amazing feature where you can put up your face next to your name! The funny thing is how much people change on their profile pictures; it makes them really hard to find. I have some who look surprisingly like celebrities. In fact, I'm pretty sure one was even on the red carpet. I look at another, and they look like a dog. Not being mean here. They literally turned into a dog. The most talented are the ones who are able to turn into stock photos. They have mad skills. I wish people would stop transforming in their pictures. I'm glad they have that amazing ability, but using it elsewhere would make network life much easier.

8. The Stalker Box

I don't want to know that you added John as a friend. Thank you.

These are just a few things that make Facebook weird. Don't worry, because I'm sure I can come up with plenty more. :)